outsider

Though I really adore Kyiv, and my job, sometimes I really feel like an outsider here.  Well, duh, you may be saying, of course, you are.  lol.  The exact word came through a conversation with two students who were at a loss for the perfect word for when you live somewhere, it's your home, but you feel like you don't really belong.

Well, what I really mean is I haven't forged any great friendships, bonded deeply with some people, etc.  Not for lack of trying, I think....at least initially I made more attempts to find some friends.... 

There was the Internations group, which I still can't make most activities....Thursday evenings (bi-weekly) I'm in class...till 10, then just getting to the place, may or may not be beneficial to show up.  So I've pretty much given up on those.  I did attend one sightseeing afternoon, with only two others....We hung out, enjoyed the afternoon, but nothing more.  I also went to one of the dinners, spent about 3 times what I normally would for not so great food.... Met two gals I'd like to hang out with more, but with schedules etc, it hasn't happened.

The other teachers are mostly 20 somethings who have bonded over partying and late nights.  Something I surprisingly have not been very into here.  Compared with when I was just in Mongolia, I now have turned into the vagabond granny I am.

I've also been trying to meet a man... for some companionship, friendship, hanging out with and that also has not been going well.  WTF????  Maybe it's just time for more introspection and spiritual growth here....